-----For
the Ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband
decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after
he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted
to me, "What setting do I use on the
washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What
does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of
Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
-------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss
you..."
------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes
today," Jack says as he steps out of the
shower. "Honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like
this?"
"Probably that I married you for your
money," she replied.
-------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good
looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.
-----------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On
their special day, a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good,
each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the
World with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise
tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger.
Whoosh! Immediately he turned 90.
Gotta love that fairy!
----------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love
to forgive him, and patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll
beat him to death.
AMEN
--------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
--------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long
Enough.
--------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on
the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need
to wipe.
----------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading
your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction
Manuals."
